Heat

You know it's hot  when your dog positioned herself where she was feeling optimal breeze. Poor fluffy dog. 

Also spent a good hour or so at the Stanwood car show and got burnt. 

And saw some shitty cars. Meaning only this 1957 corvette and the fact that it was mutilated. Is there such thing as corvette murder? 

It would look nice if it were another vehicle. A kit car maybe. But it's a 57 corvette. That they mutilated. Poor baby. 

Learning

Life is constantly a learning process, right? We do things and make mistakes and we learn. We figure things out and how they work with us doing it one way or another. And we learn from it. 

As of now, I'm learning how to be me and accept myself for being me. 

Also learning to be more responsible about certain things, like my garden. I need pumpkins. 

And also relearning how to use my Nikon D60. It takes beautiful pictures on automatic settings but I'd love to be able to learn how to adjust things and take great pictures as well. 

Unfortunately I can't see the "super moon" tonight. I saw it when I was driving and it was gorgeous. But I can't see it from my house. Dang clouds and trees. 

The second picture is of a baby Hoya. Apparently it belonged to one of my mother's grandma's and it is a cutting from a cutting from a cutting from a cutting of my mom's great grandma's plant. It's beautiful. It looks fake even in person. 

Grandmother issues

It's so hard seeing one grandma die when she actually was finally fighting for her life and its even harder seeing another grandma not give a damn about her life. She doesn't get up and shower daily. She pees herself constantly, and lets it run down her leg and down to her toe where she just had surgery. So imagine that... it gets infected. She doesn't do anything for herself. She stays in bed all day and smokes. Enough that she caught the bed on fire once. Well once that we know of. If you ask her something, she'll just say "well I don't know..." To everything. "When was the last time you showered?" "We'll I don't know, honey..." 

She tries to make herself seem useless and helpless. She can do far more than she's doing and far more than she thinks she can. Her apartment is a disaster. Just a mess. She doesn't clean up after herself. She doesn't even clean up herself. She goes a week to a week and a half without showering. 

It's just so hard that someone who actually fought for their life died... Yet someone who has given up on life and themselves still lives, if laying in bed willingly all day and smoking two packs of cigarettes a day counts as living,  and doesn't realize that we are only going to live so long. 

She can't take care of herself, yet she refuses to live in an assisted living facility. Or any place where anyone can help her. She refuses help but refuses to help herself. 

It's heart breaking to see someone deteriorate like that when you know they can help themselves if they try. 

Imaginary boyfriends

My niece thinks I have an imaginary boyfriend. And that I look like my father is the Michelin tire guy thing. I may have gained weight but I'm not that big. Haha

She then told me that it's ok to have imaginary boyfriends and that she has one at her mom's house. It's a wrapping paper tube that she's drawn a face on. 

At least I don't have  a wrapping paper tube with a face on it as a boyfriend. I just have absolutely nothing.

But on the positive side, at least she thinks I can tango dance!