Mourning

BubbaSo it was decided, by guilting of another family member, that the shihtzus got put down. And this person who decided, decided to guilt my mom into putting down the shihtzus. So on Thursday, they went to the rainbow bridge. Or puppy heaven. Whichever you think they go to. I know that despite the fact that they were shitheads, they'll go wherever all animals go. And I do miss them. A lot. They were assholes. But it's hard. Really hard. They were a part of my life for around 10 years. They were about 12 years old and had a ton of health issues, plus aggression as well. 

Meeko, the one who caused my last bite. He couldn't go up the stairs, was mostly blind and had bitten me twice (leaving marks/wounds) within the last three months. 

Bubba, the one who caused my moms last bite. He would shiver in like 90 degree weather and was only happy if he was laying directly in the sun on a hot day. Had so many skin issues that he would bite his back raw, despite dietary changes and regular baths. Partially blind and has lost most of his teeth so he couldn't eat much. 

Both of the dogs would aggressively go after people. Bubba would growl if we walked near him and has bitten me and latched on like a freaking piranha because I set my foot down off of the couch and he was a foot away.  Meeko would do the same things. It was incredibly frustrating. 

And now they're in heaven. Not what I would have chosen, but it wasn't my choice since they aren't my dogs. I tried to find them new homes and the rescues I contacted that dealt with hard to deal with dogs said that they wouldn't accept them. So basically I just have to think that they're heaven's dogs now. I wanted to rehome them. So their home is now heaven. And it hurts. They were a part of the family. It's amazing what guilting someone can do. ],=

So many updates!

Some good, some sad. 

So it's been a year since my grandma passed. A tough year. But a year. I miss her every single day and whenever I go to my grandpas house, I know she's there. She watches over all of us. 

And now with the good.... I finished a 5k today! In 49 minutes. But it was my first and I am very out of shape, had very crappy shoes and I woke up with my back and hip hurting. I finally decided that it was time to play terribly inappropriate songs and that helped me get through the end of it! Like peacock by Katy Perry, Penis Song by Macklemore, and Jon lajoie songs. It helped. Haha. I told myself and my friend the whole time that I'd never do it again. But I really want to! I'm sore, I'm tired. But I feel accomplished! I had a huuuuge blister underneath calluses and that was painful. Thankfully I have the next two days off work! 

Second good thing is that I am going to grooming academy! Super excited. Nervous. But excited. Not thrilled with how much money I had to spend. Went from having nearly $1000 in my bank account to about $50. Yikes. Kills me to spend money. But it will help with my future and I think it's something I'll enjoy. 

Oh and something to do with both of the good things kinda... There's a 5k for Halloween. And I realllly want to do it. Dress up in a costume and bring Ziggy and have her in costume too. It would be adorable. I'm totally thinking lawn gnome for myself and pink flamingo for her. Including dye and wings for her. Oh man. So ridiculously excited. I can totally figure this out. I need to do it. I'm so excited. Haha. 

I hate shihtzus.

So on Sunday night, I noticed that my mom's shihtzus had such overgrown nails that they were probably two weeks from growing into their paw pads. I trimmed bubba's nails first and he was absolutely perfect. Then onto meeko. He did great for his first three feet. Onto his front right foot. Was able to get three nails done and he fucking snapped. I'm not talking a little nibble or a growl. I'm talking full on tried to eat me. To the point of the meat of my hand hanging out of it. That deep. So I went to the doctor. Had to call out of work. Missed a 7 hour shift. May have to call in tomorrow and miss a 5.5 hour shift. My hand hurts. So much. It's ridiculous. I'm on antibiotics. Having to take Advil like constantly. It has to be elevated or else it just throbs. Even then, it often throbs. I struggle putting my hair up, putting clothes on and my left hand is nearly useless right now. Ugh. And my mom seemed frustrated about having to take me to the walk in clinic. I'm just annoyed. I don't want to miss work. I don't want to be in pain. I didn't choose to be attacked. 

NW Grooming Expo: Brusher/Bather Certification

So I went to the NW Grooming Expo in Tacoma this week! It was interesting! I learned a lot in the brusher bather certification course, actually. It was rather interesting. Though it was really disturbing how many people didn't know some of the basic information being taught. Like how to clip nails. And where the quick is. And what the "expert groomer" teaching the class said kind of angered me. "Well it's where there's a V in the nail. Clip on the tip side of that." Uh nowhere near the quick. And if the nails are relatively short.... Uh oh hey. No v. At all. And all of the people who had no idea, terrifyingly around 9 people of the 23 person class, were amazed and felt like they now knew how to do nails. When they'd get nowhere near the quick in any way.  It makes me sad. Because old dogs won't get their nails short and their long nails can and likely will hurt their poor arthritic feet. 

I did learn a few good things though! Which is nice. And to not wet down a dog before washing it and just go straight with shampoo if a dog stinks because the smell of the shampoo will overpower and help get rid of the stink. The stink got onto them while they were dry, most likely and the hair was dry and easily absorbed stink in the first place. Especially for skunk stink. And to shampoo a dry double coated dog, use the hv dryer on them for about a minute, shampoo again, hv dryer for about a minute, then condition them and then rinse and them fully hv dry them and it should get rid of a loooot of hair. I'll hopefully be getting my certificate in the mail soon! 

However the salon certification sucked. A friend took it and it wasn't clear that you wouldn't get certification straight out of the class. You have to throw hundreds of dollars at them and take tests and make videos of grooms and everything. But that wasn't specified.  And everything that was taught was taught in the petstore that we work at's grooming academy. So it was useless to people who have gone though our grooming academy. I haven't at this point so it probably would be interesting to see the notes, which I'll look at. But don't think it would be worth the $149 that was paid. 

Yet another maverick update

So when I got him, I didn't think hed have the issues he did. Now I realize that it isn't just housebreaking stuff that he needs training with. It's his fear of women. His instinctual getting into the garbage yet eating only lettuce when there's chicken thighs in there. I've been taking him to training and I feel like it's helping with basic stuff. Not the underlying issues and causes of the issues though. They ask us for the last like 15 minutes of class to go around and ask customers and people who work there to try to do the training stuff with us. Maverick won't go anywhere near people. He's terrified. It breaks my heart.

Poor little man. I know he has a ton of love in his little heart. I just wish he could share it with others. 

Judgement

"I'm tired of being judged for what I should and shouldn't say!"

Really? Is this coming from the person who not even two weeks ago told me that I should stop posting past 11pm on Facebook. Because I "ramble." And yet she posts on someone's picture who was moving a couple hours away "when the hell did you have time for this??" Sorry, but that sounds super judgmental. And it will be offensive to the person who received the comment. Frustrating how people have double standards. I get rambly when it's late yet she's able to be passive aggressive? I'd say rambly is better than passive aggressive. 

Then she asked if I needed help getting up at 9 and I said if she set an alarm, that would be great. Then she got pissed. If you are going to offer your help, don't be pissed if I accept it, please. That isn't fair. You offered it. I didn't ask for it. =[

And this is why I need a vacation. 

One of those days...

Have you ever had one of those days where watching a movie lifts your spirit up a lot? 

Ever have one of those days where watching Monsters University makes you cry and realize that you can work your way out of the "mess" that you feel like you're in? And to overcome the stress? Yep. That just happened. I loved it. They overcame everything because they believed in themselves. Which is fantastic. I need to just believe in myself more. I have zero confidence and it even affects my job and the dogs I work with because they can sense it. 

My Ute Hurts

Once upon a time, a long time ago, someone said "my uterus is yakey." He was a man. And right now, my ute is achey. Ugh! It's been since Friday! I figured I'd feel better by now. But nope. Oh well. Hoping this gets better! Wondering if working out on Saturday made things worse. Who knows. 

So I went to work yesterday for a meeting and heard that I'd get more hours and wrote down my new schedule. And today, a coworker in the salon said "oh! The manager wanted to remind you to look at the book because you have more hours!!" Oh reeeeeeealllyyy? So next week, I have 26 hours! Wooh! As opposed to the 5-10 I was getting a week, that's freaking fantastic. So excited! I typically get the asshole dogs. Because I'm new. And one of the girls doesn't like me (well no one likes you either, stupidface." But it'll be nice to actually get substantial paychecks! Especially considering that last week's was only $50ish. 

So with the company I work for, I get 6 weeks of 1 hour a week dog training for free. Group training. But I think maverick will benefit from it. Especially for free! Maybe get some ideas as to what I can do at home since he's pretty much stumped me. I don't acknowledge him when I come home. So less happy pees. Doesn't stop the scared pees though. And I get a free groom a month (whatever I can do myself) when it's not busy in the salon, so I figured I'd make him get a furminator bath and brush and stuff before the training. Wooh! Excited. =]

Sorry That I'm Not Sorry: A Rant

I hate when people choose to say rude things when they could easily just not respond or postpone responding. And when I try to help people out but I get nothing but snarky responses. And I'm sorry that I'm not willing to waste money on things I already have. I'm not paying for a gym membership when I have an elliptical, treadmill, a couple small weights, an ab lounge, total gym ultra and like 6 workout DVDs. Plus wii games that are for working out. And those are the only things I'd do at a gym anyway. I work around 5-10 hours a week and right now, I can't afford to throw money into a fire. It's just frustrating. Yeah, I am kinda poor. Yeah, I am making sure in not driving around a lot because I don't have a ton of money. And when a family member says something about how "imagine that. You have a job and you have to pay for things? Wow." Yeah. When was the last time you worked and paid for your own things? Oh, five years ago? Ok. Yeah, I try to pay for my own things. Sorry. I'm not going to leech off of other people. I hate that. It makes me feel terrible if I do. If I owe people money, I try to pay them back. Sorry. But I'm not sorry about that. And I'm not sorry that I'm trying to save money. There's a certain person in a certain state who I really miss and would love to see. So I'm saving money to make sure I can go see him soonish. 

Oh and really? Don't make comments about me and my dogs. Don't say that they're jerks. I don't say your kid is a jerk if he/she has a temper tantrum. You've not been around my dogs very often and yeah. Of course they get excited. Maverick is a fluffy jerk. I can call him that. You can't. They're MY beasts. You can't call them that. Oh and don't make comments passive aggressively saying that "oh no, she doesn't have kids. She just has dogs." Yup. I do. And I love them. Sorry that I didn't feel the need to have kids when I was young. I just adopted furbabies. They love me unconditionally and don't ever tell me they hate me. Plus, I won't ever have to pay for college tuition for them! And when I leave, I just put them in a kennel and call it good. No babysitter.  Win-win situation. 

End rant. 

Looking back

I just read my second post of my blog and it made me cry a little. At that point in my life, everything sucked. I was hiding the fact that I was cutting myself from a guy I was dating, all of my family and my friends. I hid my depression as well. Little did I know, it was PTSD. The loss of time. The wanting to hit the guy who raped me with my car and thankfully me stalling my car. All of that. I had no idea. I had no idea how bad things were. 

Today, I'm taking SAM-e, biotin, birth control, and Allegra. Also a nasal spray. I'm no longer on highly sedative drugs. I no longer day-drink, like I had before. I no longer rely on anyone else to make me happy. If I had could go back to a year ago, I would have never thought I would have taken a break from school, gotten a job and felt legitimately happy at times. I never would have thought I had two beautiful, lovey dogs, even if one is only lovey towards me. I never would have thought that my life would be like this. And I'm so thankful I am happy. I am happier. I know what is going on with my body for the most part. At least with the PTSD. I need to make another appointment to check about the hpv and see if things have become cancerous or precancerous. But that will be soon enough and I don't want to deal with a duck beak in my hoohah and someone far too close to my bits for comfort. 

I have a job that I enjoy. At times, it hurts my back like no other. And thankfully I can ask one of the other girls to help. They're so willing and helpful. And they like me. I feel comfortable around them, like I've known them for a while. It's wonderful. I normally hate girls. So that helps! 

Also, I have a wonderful manicure right now! Sparkles and glow in the dark! 

Glow in the dark glitter from artsy fartsy crafts. I love it. 

I'm also thinking of starting back up a ten gallon planted tank. I have all of the things I'd need except for substrate, plants and id order a few more fish. Mainly endlers. I love those little fish. They are easy to care for and pretty and bright. I used to buy fish when I was sad. But now I'm wanting to start a new project! I'd need to paint my room first and do that stuff. But I'm excited! I'd love to do another tank. Plus I get a 15% off discount at work. =]

Ahh, another life update.

Blurry So I was hired at a Subway. And that particular store was very poorly managed. To the point where in front of customers, he would tell me to accept tips. When the customer was gone, he told me that his bosses are to be told that we didn't accept tips. Also, I was three feet away from the manager and a coworker and the coworker told the manager, "it's going to be so funny to watch her fail on Saturday. You know how busy it gets on Saturday." Oh really? You've been a sandwich artist for five years. I've been at school. Making something of myself. Learning. Bettering myself. I wanted to shank a bitch. But I didn't. I quit. And the manager told me, "this is fucking bullshit." Ok. That's appropriate.

But then I started at a pet store! And I love it! I am a bather. I bathe them, brush, perform sanitary trims, express anal glands (yes, ew... Very ew...) and trim nails. But I love it! Everyone in the salon is so socially awkward. Like me. Yes, we do have some awful customers. But we also have a ton of awesome ones. It's definitely a job for me. Not my permanent job, for sure. But one that is fantastic for the time being. 

So maverick. Oh. Maverick. He's kind of an ass. He loves my mom, dad and I. But anyone else, eh. Nope. We have to very carefully supervise anyone else or else he tries to herd them. He's not a herding dog. He's a white, fluffy beast.  But he's getting better. And with my new job, I get free once a week dog training for 6 weeks.  He lets us know when he wants to go out. Plays with Ziggy all of the time. Even when I'm getting ready for work. Which often means mascara all over my face or a jacked up eyebrow. But I love them so much. Both of my Eskimo beasts have done so well with the nail grinder that I use for work. 

Only thing I don't like about my job is that my nails have to be short and with the grinder for dog claws, it messes my thumb nail up. Hopefully when I get better I can have prettier nails! 

I can never get a clear picture of them together. They're crazy. 

I just noticed that Ziggy is always smiling in pictures and maverick just has a serious face. Haha.